The U.S. may
have recently lost its title as most obese nation to our neighbours down south
in Mexico, but America is still winning in a lot of other not-so-great
categories. Our list of ways America is still #1 explores the true essence of
what it means to be an American. with stupidity and dumbness for
all.
Highest
Incarceration Rate
The land of
the free? Not unless you count free meatloaf in America’s jails. The U.S. boasts
the highest incarceration rate of any country, with 730 people imprisoned out of
every 100,000.
Highest
Bipolar Rate
America might
just be the Amanda Bynes of the world. In a study of 11 countries, the U.S.
proved to have the highest rate of bipolar disorder with 4.4% of citizens
receiving diagnoses in their lifetimes. But fret not. Insanity is most common
in wealthy countries, showing that the crazier we are, the better it is for
America.
Wasting
Electricity
Leaving the
lights on and the AC blasting is as American as it gets, making this country a
proud leader in wasting energy. Low energy productivity costs the U.S. $130
billion per year, a staggering amount except when compared to the cost of
gasoline for your SUV.
Divorce
Rate
The U.S. has
an average of 4.95 divorces per every 1,000 people. The bad news is that’s a lot
of broken homes. The good news is there are plenty of easy targets on the
rebound!
Drug
Use
Put down your
pipe and pay attention. America leads the world in cannabis and cocaine usage,
which makes for a sad reality but a great database of mug shots. Researchers
also found that America leads the world in alcohol and tobacco
usage.
TV
Watching
Americans
spend way too much time in front of the boob tube. The U.S. is tied with the
U.K. for the most TV watching per week, clocking in at an average of 28 hours
per person. And that was before the final season of Breaking Bad
started!
Teen
Moms
With the
popularity of shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant, America does a stellar
job when it comes to glamorizing young moms. So much so, in fact, that the
country has the highest percentage of teenage pregnancies of any developed
country on Earth.
Phishing
We may not
have a Nigerian prince who wants to give us a million dollars, but we do lead
the world in the number of internet phishing sites with a whopping 24%. It’s
good to know all that stolen Internet cash is going to our
neighbours.
The Most
Lawyers Per Capita
No country
knows how to sue better than this one, so thank goodness we have tons of
attorneys chasing our ambulances. There is one lawyer for every 265 Americans,
which may sound like a bad thing unless you sell billboard
space.
The Cost
Of Having A Baby
In the U.S.,
that little bundle of joy is going to cost you a big bundle of cash. A standard
delivery costs $9,775, which, for mothers not covered by insurance or Medicaid,
can be more painful than the labour itself.
Wine
Consumption
America is
number one in wine drinking, beating out France, Italy and Spain — a list that
include countries whose citizens start drinking wine at birth. A study shows
12.54% of the world’s wine consumption happens in the U.S., presumably by
people who’ve grown immune to excruciating wine hangovers.
Plastic
Surgery
The U.S. is
the leader in plastic surgery with more than 21.1% of total procedures worldwide
taking place within the borders of our country. Turns out the face of the nation
is full of Botox and silicone.
Soft
Drink Consumption
You want a
Big Gulp, a Super Big Gulp or a Super Super Big Gulp? America leads the way in
soft drink consumption. Males ages 12-29 are the biggest culprit, ingesting an
average of 160 gallons of soda each year. We’d like to buy the world a Coke, if
only so it can catch up to our gargantuan soda habit.
We Own
The Most (Annoying) Devices
It’s no
surprise that America is a land where consumption reigns supreme, but this is
especially true when it comes to our smartphones, iPads and other gizmos. As of
last year, the U.S. led the world with 165 million devices. The biggest problem?
Where to charge them all.
Most
Twitter Users
There are
more Twitter users in the U.S. than in any other country. However, the
Netherlands is more active, fronting a competitive race to see which nation can
make the most terrible jokes in 140 characters or less.
The Most
Millionaires…
Wouldn’t it
be nice to be uber-rich? Chances are someone you know is a millionaire. In
America, there are 5.9 million millionaire-status households. The trick is to
find out who they are so you can work your way into their inner
circles.
…And the
Most Billionaires
Those poor
millionaires they have no idea what wealth really means! Alongside the most
millionaires, the U.S. also has the highest number of billionaires. Though this
is primarily based off what we’ve heard in rap songs.
Dogs
They may be
hairy, loud and messy, but unlike your college room mate who bore the same
traits, you love your pet pooch. In the U.S., 37% of all pet-owning households
own a dog.
Cats
Cats aren’t
just for old spinsters any more. The U.S. is the world cat leader with more than
76 million pet felines in households across the country. And every single one of
them has a video on YouTube.
Crowd
funding
Can’t raise
money for your weird peanut butter and jelly-themed avant-garde art
installation? Make your friends pay for it! That’s the logic behind crowd
funding, which has risen in popularity in recent years. The U.S. leads the world
in friend and family-funded projects with 72% of global crowd funding projected
to come from America in 2013.
Roller
Coasters
Americans
aren’t afraid of a wild ride. The U.S. boasts a whopping 650 coasters, including
464 sit-down coasters and 44 inverted coasters. Now if only we could bring our
guns along for the rides.
Worker
Productivity
In spite of
the lazy American stereotype, U.S. citizens stay longer in the office than those
in most other nations and produce more money per person. Unfortunately, the
study doesn’t say how much of that time is just our workers playing Candy Crush
on Facebook.
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